I'll Be Right Beside You
by willgirl
Summary: Brennan struggles to tell Booth an important secret. B&B angst.


**A/N: Here's a little oneshot I came up with at work. There is a tissue warning in effect. I used a song as inspiration for this. It's called Run by Snow Patrol. The oneshot works ten times better if you listen to the song while reading so the link is in my profile. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

He was gone. She could barely believe it, but at least now she was starting to. When they first told her, she shook her head vehemently. Not Booth. He had told her he would never leave. She took him at his word, believed him when he said he would come back.

It hadn't even been three months into his tour when the army officers came into the Jeffersonian. He wasn't even supposed to be near any action, just training soldiers. But that's not what came to be.

She stood in front of his tombstone recalling how he had told her that this is what 'normal people' do. She had never thought of herself as normal but he made her. He was the one that pushed her, fought with her and made her see the world for all its possibilities.

Their relationship was secret, even from Angela. They had wanted some time to themselves, to explore this new facet of their life. Go slow, as Booth said. Not that they did. They fell into bed together immediately and began practically living together only two weeks into their relationship. Besides it had only been three months and then he was called up.

She didn't go to the airport, couldn't stand there with the others and hug him and pretend like their relationship was that of just partners. Instead he had woken up early and made love to her, kissing her softly before getting dressed, grabbing his bag and heading out of the apartment.

He had just made it to the car when she came running out the building, barefoot and in his old AC/DC shirt and pajama shorts. She leapt into his arms and he dropped his bag and they kissed and cried and said they loved each other. And then he left and her life felt hollow.

He was buried four days ago, by his parents in Arlington cemetery. It had been a full military service and many people had turned up to mourn his life. She had stood in the third row and watched his parents sob. She saw Parker and Rebecca, both in tears and Cullen standing stiffly, a look of grief on her face.

Angela hugged her and Jack patted her arm and it was over.

He was buried four days ago.

And two days ago she discovered she was pregnant.

This isn't how it was supposed to happen. Not without him. He was the fantastic parent. She had seen the way he was with Parker, he was amazing. But her, she never wanted this. And now she was stuck with a child. Without Booth.

So she had come here to tell him. He should be the first to know after all. But she couldn't say the words. Saying them out loud meant that they were real, that she was doing this by herself, all alone.

She wanted to curse him for leaving him alone. Shout and get angry and scream. But instead she knelt, barely realizing the tears the flowed down her face.

"Please." She whispered.

But he didn't answer.

"This is silly."

She couldn't say this, couldn't deal with this. How could she do this without him? She traced the letters of his name slowly, eyes blurred from the tears. Pulling her into a sitting position, she stared at the tomb. Why did people do this? There wasn't anything here that was him. He was striped ties and breakfast in bed and little league with Parker and tender kisses. He wasn't a slab of concrete.

Angela said people visited graves to be closer to those who died. But she didn't understand. How could she be closer to him? He wasn't here. He would never be here again. She looked at the gravestone again and sighed. It wouldn't hurt to try.

Closing her eyes, she pictured him sitting next to her. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans, a cocky smile on his face.

'_You have something to tell me?' He asked. _

'_No, I can't.' _

'_C'mon Bones.' he cajoled. _

'_Telling me about it will make you feel better'._

'_I can't do this without you. She replied' _

'_What are you talking about? I'm right here.'_

"I'm pregnant." She said, the words swirling into the air and disappearing. "I'm pregnant." She repeated.

She could picture the grin on his face growing wider and wider. He would pick her up and twirl her around and kiss her until she was short of breath.

Then he would run his hands over her belly while he whispered about how happy he was in her ear. He'd probably do something silly like introduce himself to baby, ignoring her protestations that the baby didn't have ears yet. Yes, he would have been happy.

But he wasn't next to her. She was alone. But the thought of him made her smile. She wanted this baby with him. It was a part of both of them and she was determined to make this work. Standing up, full of resolve, she rested her hand on her belly.

"Seeley, I'll do my best. And I will make sure this baby knows everything about you. The socks and ties, the pie, how much you loved me, everything. We can do this. I can do this." She said, more confidently.

He was buried four days ago.

And two days ago she had discovered she was pregnant.

And today, today she was happy.

_'Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear.'_


End file.
